Dear 18-year-old self,
Hey, girl!
Oops! I’m sorry. That
should be “Hey, lady!” Because by the time you are reading this, you are
currently enjoying the days of your being-a-lady, the days of the new chapter
of your life. From this day, it’s been two months na pala since your birthday. So
happy 18th in the second month.
Late na ‘tong
message ko sa’yo. Bago ka kasi dumating at bago ako umalis, ang dami kong
stuffs to do. Ya know, those student’s stuffs! (Ha ha) Kaya hindi ko masyadong naasikaso
‘yong message ko sa’yo. Anyway, ito naman na yung magiging last words ko for
you. Farewell message kumbaga. Matagal ko na ‘tong gustong sabihin sa’yo eh. But
I’ve just got this free time to write what I’ve been wanting to write. So this
is it!
There are just
three things I want to tell you. And please remember these all the time. Gusto lang
naman kitang i-congratulate, pero gusto din kitang pagsabihan at pagalitan.
First,
congratulations! You’ve learned to be independent now and that is good. One year
and a half ka nang nakatira sa boarding house away from your family. Though really
hard, you still managed to survive your first year in the concrete jungle and I
know you are still surviving. I know it was really tough for you to be away
from your loved ones. Yet you endured the homesickness and loneliness during
those times when you feel like being alone.
Congratulations! Kasi you’ve also learned to be more
unselfish. Probably because you social life has improved a lot and is expanding.
You’ve gained more friends now. Kaya lang madaldal ka pa din. (He he) You’ve
been doing well in socializing and you’ll do better, I know. Congratulations din
for the achievements and rewards you have received from your first year college.
Ang tanong ko lang, bakit parang you are losing your way now? What’s happening?
I know what you’ve been through and what you are going through right now. But would
you let those things interfere with what you want to achieve? That’s the second
thing I want you to be reminded of.
You have a lot of dreams, right? But you cannot make
them come true when you’re being inconsistent with yourself. Ang tamad-tamad mo
nang mag-aral. Ang hilig mo nang mag-procrastinate ngayon. Dati-rati naman, ang
sipag at ang tiyaga mong mag-aral, lalo na nung high school. Yung tipong hindi
ka pa matutulog hangga’t hindi ka pa nakakapag-review for your exams. Yung tipong
hindi ka papayag sa sarili mo na papasok ka ng school na hindi tapos ang
assignments at projects. Yung tipong hindi ka din papayag na matapos ang araw o
gabi na wala ka man lang nasisimulan at natatapos sa mga kailangan mong gawin. Tapos
yung tipo rin na kahit anong yakag sa’yo ng tropa na gumala, hindi ka muna
sasama hangga’t hindi ka pa tapos sa school stuffs mo. Yung tipo rin na ayaw na
ayaw mong magpapasa ng mga projects na substandard. Tapos during your high
school days, ang sipag-sipag mong mag-jot down ng notes sa notebook mo. Dati rin,
never mong naisip na mag-absent kasi you do not want a single day to pass
without even learning something. Naging principle mo pa nga dati yan di’ba? Noon,
gustung-gusto mo rin ng nag-gu-group study with your bestfriends and friends. Oh
nasaan na yung mga yun? Nasaan na ang study habits mo? Natatandaan ko sinabi mo
noon na nagsasawa ka na. Pero hello?!? Anong mangyayari sa’yo, sa mga goals mo,
kung iisipin mong nagsasawa ka na? Mind over matter, Diarina Jane! You’re very
fond of studying and learning. Yun ka di’ba? Ibalik mo yun. Ngayon kasi nauuna
pa ang pahinga at tulog, wala namang natatapos. Ni hindi ka na nga rin
nag-re-review sa mga subjects mo eh.
Magbago ka na, okay? Be more truthful to your words. “Walk
your talk.” Remember this motto when you were an SSG Officer in high school? Yung
mga promises mo sa sarili mo, please lang tuparin mo na. Lagi na lang napapako.
Sabi mo noon, you’ll be better this year in your studies di’ba? Then be better!
Do better! Not just in your studies, but be a better person yourself. Be more
responsible in whatever you do. Do not complain anymore when you are in
situations like you are loaded with tons of paper works and projects. Just do
them then complain if they are not good and if what you received is not worth
the effort. Pursue what you want. Reach for your goals. Madami kang pangarap sa
buhay di’ba, for your family and friends? Think of them. Think of the reason why
you are where you are right now. Remember those people who helped you to be in
the place you never thought you would be in. Mag-aral nang mabuti ha? Wag nang
tatamad-tamad. Wag nang pa-relax-relax, tapos saka ka magsisisi sa huli kapag
pumalpak na, pag wala nang magagawa pa. Habang marami pang time, gawin na agad
ang dapat gawin. Para mas makakapagpahinga ka nang maayos ‘pag tapos na ang
gagawin. At nang hindi ka nate-tense at nagka-cram in the last two minutes. Gusto
mo gumradweyt with flying colors, right? And to top the LET? Eh di mag-aral ka nang
mas mabuti. Ibalik mo na yung study habits mo nung high school. Aim for the
best and not for the “just” stuffs at yung mga tipong “sakto lang.” Be
motivated!
Thirdly, you’re no longer a baby girl. Act, speak and
look what a lady should act, speak and look like. You’re on your own now. You already
know what is right and what is not, what is better and best and what is worse
and worst. Matanda ka na. Do all of these things or regret in the future. Nakakainis
ka naman kasi eh. Para kang tumatanda nang paurong. Kung kelan nag-college, dun
tinatamad mag-aral. But anyway, I still love you sooooooo much. I trust you,
okay? Everybody trusts and expects you to be better because we believe that you
can be.
Have a good future ahead of you. Aaaaaaand be the best
that you can be!
Love,
Your
17-year-old-self
P.S.
You can bring back your study habits, right? Or can
you, really? Now, it’s a dare! Good luck, Diarina Jane.
